Lately, I've been trying to consciously make myself aware of what I'm thinking about. My thoughts, I know, are selfish, and I repent of that daily.
I recently started reading the book "Desiring God", by John Piper (It was mentioned several times in sermons by my pastor, not naming any names). The first ninety pages of the book have really opened my eyes to what digging deep in a relationship with God looks like, having the JOY of the Lord, and "tasting to see that the Lord is good" (Psalm 34:8). He's not some genie in a bottle, and I/we should pray to Him even when good things in our lives are happening. I know that Joy is essential in my worship of our King, and not an option in my walk.
Last year was a very trying year, and full of trials in the life of my family, yet Joy was overflowing from answered prayers, and realization of faith in Jesus. Like I stated in the last post, I quite my job at the bank to pursue a career in the healthcare field. I applied to the Nursing program really expecting to get in, but didn't. My thoughts, and my pride took over my relationship with God. I thought I could do it on my own because I had the grades, and I knew the right people (so I thought). I definitely got knocked on my tush, to say the least, and have dived deep in the Word that God laid out in front of us. Why must we be so ignorant?? Why?
Somehow, in prayer and submission to quit my job, we managed to pay our bills, bless those who have blessed us, and help those who needed help. God showed up, and with the submission and faith he's called us to have; He delivered.
I have such a strong passion for helping others, and I want to use that gift he's given me.
Needless to say with all the uncertainties of school, work, money, and everything else, it panned out with trust, faith, and joy in what God has planned for our lives. I look forward to the many more chapters I have to read in this inspiring book, and exploring the Bible for direction from God.